Wednesday, October 29, 2014

NOT so squealishlygood: online dating sites

image via Google
I have been a reluctant participant in the online dating game, off and on, for a few years now.  As a stylist I work solo from my home studio which means I go a few days at a time without face to face human interaction.  No, I am not a hermit nor am I a former freak show performer.  I go for runs at the park with my dog, to the grocery store, etc., but during these outings I am not looking for some hot guy to trip while running or crash my shopping trolley into.  So there in lies the reason for online dating sites.
I have stories, a few stories, okay, quite a few stories, and it wasn't until my recent foray back in the world of cyber dating that I felt compelled to share.  In all fairness, the site I am currently a member of is "free", I refuse to pay to meet a guy, isn't that what mail order spouses are for?  Okay, not exactly, but you get my point.  I have in the past used paid sites with dismal results, so I'll do my best to weed through the dudes using the free sites as their little black book.
In the beginning, I felt like I should respond to every message I received, to be polite.  I thought it rude to just ignore, especially compliments, but now the delete button is my friend.  Last year I received a message from jumpsta77.  It started out with something like "hi, how are you?",  I responded with "great, and you?".  Even before responding, I knew I had no interest in meeting jumpsta, but I was being polite.  After more prattle, he asked if I'd like to meet for tea (strike 1- coffee/tea dates...another chapter) that afternoon, strike 2- do not ask a gal out for a date to happen that day.  I said no thank you and something along the lines that a future meeting would not be in the cards as well, he then berated me for leading him on.  I told him that I was raised to be polite. Then I received the following...
jumpsta: "Don't waste people's time. Some people are emailing people for a purpose.. Not to pass time"
me:  "Wow, thanks for the online dating lesson."
jumpsta:  "I mean really... What's the point of sitting back and just emailing?  It's pretty cowardly and a waste of your life" 
(not sure about the term cowardly, but he was correct about waste, that's why I delete)
I now state in my profile, "NOT into small talk/conversations through messaging, if you want to meet, let's meet."
Admittedly, the delete button doesn't always work.  I received a message from a man 13 years my senior who lived 350 miles away, delete.  I heard back from him a few days later, "I was hoping to hear from you".  I responded with "Well, you are 13 years older and you live in Durango.  I do not live in Durango and I am not interested in dating a man 13 years older."  Of course he had to get the snarky last word in, "Thank you for your honesty, but just so you know, you probably couldn't keep up..."

I would love to hear from other's who have or are currently using an online dating site
 to share the good, the bad and the ugly.
Share in comments or send me an e-mail TCSTYLST1@GMAIL.COM


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